Side Effects

(Big Brutus, near Mineral, KS)

About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them." (Acts 16:25)

Sometimes, fighting cancer is just managing the side effects of the medicine used to treat the bigger problem. For example, my first round of chemo left me nauseous for two weeks. To combat the anticipated nausea for the second round (which happens Wednesday) I have several different medicines on hand...just in case. 

I also have medicine available for pain.

Unfortunately, one of the side effects of both the medicine used to treat nausea and those used to treat pain are "digestive issues"...particularly the type of issue that begins with "consti" and ends in "pation." I've always been very regular. I was not prepared.

Constipation is no picnic.

In fact, last week, I was nearly paralyzed with this condition.  For the three-hour nightmare, I had no idea how to remove the football that was lodged in my lower gastrointestinal tract.  I called my gastroenterologist. Not available. I called again. Still not available. I was told that he was in "procedures." I didn't care about anyone else's procedures. In fact, I started to panic. I wasn't getting any better.  Finally, I called my little sister who was visiting and is also a physician.  This phone call should have been humiliating, but I was past the point of any pride.

"I think I need to go to emergency room," I managed to squeak.

"Slow down," my little sister said.

"I can't get much slower," I thought, "Things are pretty much at a standstill."

"There are some things we can try.  If you can make it home, I will run to the pharmacy and meet you there with the 'supplies'," she said. "We'll hit this thing from above and below."

This sounded ominous, but considering my situation, I agreed and  decided to leave work since I wasn't being overly productive.

At home, I was met by both my sister and my wife and a bag full of medicine.  I was coached through my treatments, which, while humbling, was also rewarding because these two women are both mothers and I have a new appreciation for what it is they went through in child birth.  I never knew.  It was terrible, but soon I had a breakthrough. Afterwards, I was pooped. I napped for about an hour, but it wasn't for two more days before I began to feel my regular self again.

Needless to say, I am taking special care with my digestive health these days because I never, ever want to experience that  place again.  I am convinced that this "side effect" was the weapon of Lucifer used to derail me from my treatment protocol.

Well, stick it, Satan!

And I believe that is one way the Devil works. He tries to get us focused on the side effects and we deal with them and it takes a lot out of us and we began to wonder if it is all worth it.  Sometimes the side effects make us forget that there is something bigger lurking in the shadows. Sometimes we forget that we are engaged in a big and important battle, but when we remember we experience Paul and Silas faith; faith to get us through the hard times, and never lose site of what it is we are really trying to accomplish. This kind of faith is Samson and his one last lean on Dagon's temple.  It is King David composing one more hymn of faith in the middle of deep darkness. (eg. Psalm 22)  It is Esther approaching the king.  It is going to worship and and prayer when everything in your life turns inside out.  It is faith to keep us focused on the bigger problem we are dealing with, not just the side effects.  

Church Stopping. Less Doing. More Being.