More

"More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish to in order that I may again Christ..." --Philippians 3:8

In my adult life, I have struggled with more. To be precise, my struggle has been with those who have more.  And, to be painfully honest, it is with those who have more material wealth than I do.  I  somehow feel that I haven't quite measured up to my peers who are better off financially than I am.

Part of that inadequacy is dressed up as concern for my family; what if they didn't have worry about my job security? What if my spouse didn't have to worry about a mortgage, or an unreliable car, or whether or not we could afford to go on vacation?  And what if our children didn't have to worry about being relocated while they are still in school?

I know I shouldn't feel inadequate,  but I sometimes do. And it hurts.

I know it seems ridiculous.  My spouse and children don't judge me on my net worth.  I know I shouldn't.  However, I also know that this struggle is hard because it is not a physical one, but a spiritual one.  I know that it is even hard for people who have more.  I know people who don't have to worry about providing for their basic needs for the rest of their lives, live in beautiful homes, visit exciting places, but still feel inadequate sometimes, too.

I even know the antidote for inadequacy based on a worldly value system. Only Jesus satisfies.

And Paul said of worldly gain, "I count it all poop."

That's really what it says.  We clean it up because we find his language so startling.  However, I think Paul really meant to say, "poop." Our value is not based on what we have, but Who we know.

However, even knowing all the right answers, when I see the poop dressed up in something shiny and fast, or in a paid-off mortgage, I find it surprisingly attractive.  So, my prayer this week is to live more fully in Who I know, to be seduced less and less by the treasures of this world, and for those with more to feel a little pinch...

I know. I will also pray for forgiveness.

Chruch Stopping. Less Doing. More Being.