Week 23: Sabbath thoughts with Elizabeth Spomer, M.D.

(Cake made by Dr. B. on our parents' 50th wedding anniversary.)

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord,

The Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired.

His understanding is inscrutable.

He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power.

Though youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly,

Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength;

They will mount up with wings like eagles,

They will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary.

(Isaiah 40:28-31)

Geoff:  Hello, again, Sis! Last week, you shared with us the positive effect adequate rest has on our physical, psychological, and emotional health.  How do you personally incorporate rest/Sabbath into your life?

Elizabeth Spomer (Dr. B): I find it ironic, looking back at my medical education, that such critical topics (sleep, rest, and stress management) were so rarely taught in class. Yet, I did manage to learn a lot about these topics during my training - primarily by first-hand experience of the stress, the sleep deprivation, the lack of rest, and even the lack of joy, at times.

Unfortunately, I have experienced many of the adverse consequences of this stress and lack of rest.  So much so, in fact, that after 12 years of practicing medicine, I decided to step away from my chosen vocation, my career, my identity, my life as a doctor; what I had worked so hard for. Largely as a consequence of years of sleep deprivation (I delivered babies, so that goes with the territory!), stress, and many days devoid of joy, I came to a place where I had to rest. I had to sleep. I had to recover. Fortunately, at the time I was ready to walk away from my job, we were in a place where we could manage the significant change from two to one income, so I just went home and began my long-term “Sabbath”.

“I want to live!”

Wilbur-Charlotte’s Web, 1973  

I am still a doctor. I occasionally fill in at a local walk-in clinic, and I keep my license current. However, I have learned that in order to really “live” with joy and appreciation for all of the gifts I’ve been given, and to be able to give back a little, and share those gifts with others, I have to do things very differently than I did them before.

Geoff:  Hmm.  Such as?

Dr. B:  First, I have to prioritize sleep- 8 hours on a regular basis. Now, if I experience interrupted sleep or a short night, I recognize my body’s inability to function efficiently. I am sleepy, cranky, non-productive and usually find myself heading to the fridge to eat something just to stay awake. When I was a busy, often sleep-deprived physician, I unfortunately exhibited some of these same behaviors. It was not ideal, and I was certainly not setting a good example for my children or my patients.  

I am also learning  the importance of, and starting to “practice”, rest.  Before, when I was a busy physician, my rest was not intentional, it was more obligatory. I would often come home and “veg out” in front of the TV to rest my brain - not really a choice, but the only thing I could manage. Now I stay very busy as a wife and mother, but I don’t get to that place where I am “fried” anymore. I do still rest my brain - sometimes even with an episode of Parenthood or Downton Abby - but the difference is that it is a choice. I still go hard and stay busy, but I prioritize time to rest, relax, drink a cup of tea, read, or daydream about my next chapter in life.

I am also now in a place where I much more actively seek joy. Not only do I look for activities, hobbies, books, TV shows, and food that bring me joy; but I am far more likely to really be “present” with my kids and my husband so that the joy in the precious little moments (hugs, giggles, and even tears) are treasured so much more.

I am finally starting to feel rested and whole. It has taken a long time to feel human again, and I am still a work in progress. What I know now that I didn’t recognize before is that rest and recovery are non-negotiable - more so than all of the work, the contributions, and the time I spend doing, giving, and going places. I guess, for me, it took going to medical school, suffering through internship and residency, being up night after night delivering babies, and “burning out“, for God to get it through my thick skull that the real plans he has for me require more than just going, and going. I see now that whatever it is that He has planned for me next, it is going to require that I am rested up and ready - mentally clear, physically strong, and spiritually primed!

Geoff: Wow! That’s awesome! Thanks, Sis. By the way, I think the “thick skull” is genetic.  Any last thoughts?

Dr. B: I believe that in order for all of us to learn and to live this truth about the importance of rest will require a paradigm shift. Parents and grandparents, teachers, bosses, and coaches will need to buy in to this science, so that they can impart their wisdom onto their children, grandchildren, students, and employees. I would love for our children to avoid the pitfalls of being overachievers who view rest and sleep as a flaw in one’s character. I would much rather see them thrive and grow into healthy, productive members or our society.

Thanks, Geoff! This was fun!

Church Stopping. Less doing. More being.

Week 22: The Doctor is In (An interview with Elizabeth Spomer, M.D)

(Picture from Charles M. Schulz)

"Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. for my yoke is easy, and My load is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

Geoff:  Hello, sister!  How are you?

Betsy Spomer, M.D. (“Dr. B.”): Doing great! The girls have a day off from school and we are working together to make a special dessert for dinner tonight. I just love these days!

Geoff: That’s awesome!  I should stop by, and by the way, thank you for taking some time away from dessert preparation to visit about the intersection of medical science and Biblical faith.  Specifically, do you see any health benefits to our Lord’s call to rest?

             

Dr. B: Absolutely! Exercise is good, but remember Muscles need rest, too. Physical exercise (such as cardio and weight training) “damages” muscle fibers and causes soreness. Muscles need about 48 hours to recover and become stronger and larger. Too much cardiovascular conditioning and not enough rest or recovery time can negatively impact physical and mental health, as well. In extreme cases people can see muscle wasting and weakening of the heart muscle.

           

In addition, mental rest, such as daydreaming, contributes to strengthening memories of events, storage of information, and improves future learning. Deep relaxation (such as meditation), when practiced regularly, relieves stress and anxiety, improves mood, decreases blood pressure, relieves pain, and increases immune and cardiovascular function.

There is now evidence that rest or breaks while at work are beneficial for work performance. If a person gets about a 10 minute break every 2 hours (e.g. getting outdoors and/or just moving) they will have less stress and lower body weight.   In addition, it has been shown that vacation decreases stress and the risk for heart disease. Those who use their vacation time tend to have a better outlook on life and tend to be more highly motivated- leading to increased productivity, higher morale, and better retention. Even the vacation planning process helps to boost happiness.

Geoff: Hmm. Interesting. It sounds counter-intuitive, but I hear you saying that “rest” actually increases productivity and well-being…even lowering stress.

Dr. B: That is true, brother. Rest is very important in reducing stress. Did you know that chronic stress can increase the risk for diabetes, high blood pressure, obesity (due to increases in the stress hormone Cortisol), heart disease, headache, poor sleep, appetite irregularities, depression, anxiety, gastrointestinal problems, immune problems, and tremors?

Geoff: Wow! That sounds serious.  You have often said that I need more sleep than the average person.  Have I been on to something all these years?

Dr. B: Maybe…with proper sleep (somewhere between 6-9 hours for most adults), the risk for heart disease seems to diminish and  hormone balance improves (e.g. growth hormone levels go up resulting in more energy, less pain, and even weight loss). Sleep also helps your ability to learn and process memories.

Just don't forget that too much sleep...greater than 9 hours...can actually be detrimental and you start to lose the benefits that you gained from your good night's sleep! 

Geoff: Ok, point taken: get enough sleep, but not too much.  But with so much going on in our lives, can’t we cut corners a little bit on sleep?

Dr. B: In our busy world, sometimes our sleep suffers. I get that, but we should never make a regular practice of “cutting corners” on our sleep.

Geoff: You make it sound like we are unintentionally hurting ourselves if we choose not to get the right amount of sleep.  Is that true?

Dr. B: Yes! There is definitive scientific evidence that there are negative consequences to a lack of sleep, both short-term and chronic sleep deprivation. These detrimental effects can impact a person both psychologically and physically.

Psychologically, a person who hasn’t had enough sleep will often have increased tension, anxiety, depression and even confusion. As a consequence, persons with chronic sleep deprivation are at increased risk for decreased work performance (fewer promotions, increased work errors or accidents, increased absenteeism) and drug or alcohol abuse. These people will often cut back on activities that they enjoy and overall their quality of life can be diminished.

Adverse physical effects of chronic sleep deprivation include sleepiness or fatigue, elevated blood pressure, increased risk for heart disease (e.g. heart attacks), increased blood sugars and diabetes, and increased risk for obesity (particularly increased central or abdominal fat due to higher levels of the stress hormone Cortisol). Chronic pain is more common as well.

Geoff: So, we can increase our quality and length of life through proper sleep habits. Are there things that we can do while awake?

Dr. B: Yes, this is the part I like!  We can begin with "intentional practices of joy" (such as love, emotional connection, listening to good music, laughing, and the human touch) that release the body’s “feel-good” hormones - serotonin, prolactin, and oxytocin. As a result, a person may have less pain, less anxiety, improved moods, and lower a heart rate and blood pressure.

Geoff: You are pretty smart, Sis. There is a lot for me to process here.  Thanks again for sharing your medical insights and your time. Would you be willing to come back next week and talk about how you incorporate rest/Sabbath into your own life?

Dr. B:  I would be happy to!

Chapter 21: Acting Like a Chauffeur

You can't do Sabbath in a vaccuum! Today's post is contributed by Heath Bechler. Heath is a family man, business man, God's man, rider of motorcycles, lover of Great Danes, and a good friend.

(Photo from: www.freeimages.com #25708)

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players;  

They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts…”

William Shakespeare  ("As You Like It”Act II, Scene VII)

I know, I know…Shakespeare’s prose has hardly been lauded for its Christian content, and his own faith was highly suspect during his time (or so I've read), but this passage has been one of my favorites of all time.  It has proved pivotal in the development and deepening of my faith.

Here’s why: It’s true. It’s simple. And it's honest.  

We are all players. That’s it.  That's all. It’s an easy thing to recognize but, sometimes, it is a hard thing to accept. 

For example, In the morning I start the day off as “Dad”.  I recognize it and I like it.  I get the kids up, dressed, and ready for school.  As a passionate lover and defender of the most important meal of the day, I ensure that both children and "Dad" are well nourished prior to heading to the car.  Then, I shift roles from "Dad" to "Chauffeur."  There is a difference. Before and during breakfast, the kids were responsible to me. Now, I am responsible to them.  As "Dad", I had the power. As "Chauffer", the boys have the power. They are in control.  I am at their whim.  I follow their agenda.  I’m neither presently active nor engaged with them during this time as they are more interested in talking with their friends.  Really, my presence is utilitarian at best.  I am beholden to their musical whims and all manner of conversations;  there’s talk of Minecraft, hockey, our dogs, and occasional bickering.  As "Dad", I had the power and authority.  Not so much as “Chauffeur”.  I’m only present in a simple role.  Sometimes, they take it for granted.  Sometimes, they take advantage of it.  A lot. Sometimes while being simply, "Chauffeur," it is hard to accept and I think that I’d much rather go back to being, "Dad."    

But I have no choice. This tectonic shift happens without much input from me. After all, I am just a player on the stage. "Dad" has made his exit.  "Chauffeur" has made his entrance.  

Please don't misunderstand me, being "Chauffeur" isn't all bad.  After all, I'm good at it.  I've had years of experience doing it. I’m prepared for diverse road conditions, inclement weather, and distracted drivers. 

And I know that this role is only for a moment.  A very fleeting moment.  There will be a moment, not of my choosing, when the curtain will be called and I will exit from this role as well.  And I will miss it. I will miss the insight into the kids' world. I will honestly miss being needed.  This simple truth is a hard thing to accept. In fact, my "Chauffeur" moment is now forever lost with my two older sons.  They are old enough to drive themselves to school now.  They no longer count on my exquisite driving skills. Those deliberate, beautiful moments after breakfast are now gone.  And those moments will not return. I’ll always be “Dad” to my kids.  That’s quite a blessing.  But I won’t always get to play “Chauffeur”…      

It’s not what you think. I’m not “waxing nostalgic”.  I’m not bragging about my relationship with my kids.  I’m confessing.  As a player, I missed something on that stage. I missed the importance and the privilege of my role as, "Chauffeur."

We do the same thing with God, don't we?  After all, we know that God sets the stage, but we still only want specific parts.  Some of us want the big parts. Some of us want to be off stage running the sound.  But all of us pray, “All the world may be a stage, but please, Lord, cast me in the role I want to play!”  The simple truth is that we will all have our entrances and our exits and we will all play many, many different parts.  Some big. Some small. Some are easier to accept than others, but God chooses. God casts us into our roles based on a Grand Finale that only He knows.

 The only question is, “Are YOU willing to play the “part” God as cast you in?”  The God who created the universe has called you to play a very specific and important role in His cosmic melodrama.  It appears the most “minor” parts are just as important as the main ones.

 Matthew 11:11 (NIV) says, “Truly I tell you, among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet whoever is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.”

Psalms 84:10-11 “ For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness.”  

As I reflect on my role of "Chauffeur," I see parallels to my practice of Sabbath. After all, it is in those moments when I find myself just along for the ride, that I am reminded that even THIS casting call is divine.

(You can reach Heath at heathbechler@gmail.com)

Church Stopping. Less doing. More being.

        

Chapter 20: The Movie Date

I went grocery shopping on Saturday morning with our five-year old....

(Photo from www.freeimages.com #241817)  

Three hours and three stores later, we made our way back home.  He was a great help, so as a result, I took him to the toy store as a reward.  Then, our Sabbath began.  Our middle son and I explored the woods in the freshly fallen snow.  Our oldest son and I went to play basketball at the gym. Our family watched a movie and played Monopoly. It was good.

But there was a little edge.

Nothing major. Just a little selfishness among brothers. A few unkind words here and chores forgotten over there.  There has been a general lack of patience sprinkled with brief moments of joy; but the mirth is like a sprinkle on a glazed donut...it looks good but doesn't have much substance.

It's a bit of a puzzle.  After all, the kids have stayed healthy, even with the flu going around.  They have slept in, eaten well, and had a great Christmas. Company came. Santa came. Jesus had a birthday. There just hasn't been a lot to complain about.

Maybe it is just cabin fever.  Maybe it is the pile of laundry that accumulated when we had oodles of company and lost focus of our daily routine. Or, maybe, it is just time for the Movie Date.

Maybe it is high time.

It's been an annual tradition for the two of us the last two years; the Movie Date.  My wife and I, in January, go to see the latest release from Middle Earth via Peter Jackson.  The only difference with the Movie Date verses a normal movie date is that only my wife goes. She goes by herself. I watch the kids.  Then, after she has watched the movie, we switch. She stays and I go. It's three hours away from the children, three hours away from the house, and (gasp!) three hours away from one another. (We do get together after the move and compare notes.)

It seems counter-intuitive, but it is true.  The three hours from our children helps us to be better parents. The three hours away from the house helps us to appreciate our blessings. The three hours away from one another helps our marriage.  It's a break from the usual routine and three hours seems like a blink of an eye.

A similar promise is wrapped around the command to Sabbath.  A period of time away from our lives helps us to truly be alive:

And He was saying to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath."

- Mark 3:27

The mind that comes to rest is tended

In ways that it cannot intend;

Is borne, preserved, and comprehended

By what it cannot comprehend.

- Wendell Berry (Sabbaths)

It's counter-intuitive, but if you feel edgy, or selfish, or unkind, or your faith seems like a chore you would rather forget, maybe you just need to stop. Maybe for a day. Maybe for a week. Maybe for a year. Or, maybe you just need your own Movie Date.

Church Stopping. Less Doing. More Being.